EMPTIED AND STILL

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Be still and know that I am God.  -Psalms 46:10

Body limp and nest emptied, I sat in disbelief.  What will I breathe now? I felt all of the air leave my lungs that day.  I struggled to wring myself dry of the pool of sorrow that soaked through with the tears shed for the baby bird that flew away too soon.  With this empty hallow I gently sat myself down at His feet.  “What will I do now, My Savior?”  With a heart so broken I could barely breathe without the shard reminders of a house now empty, of a son who left way too soon.  I knew it was coming, God told me he would leave and move inbigstock-Eggs-In-A-Nest-2572954 with his father, but even knowing didn’t dull the blade of the knife that cut his cord and my heart.  Being a mother is all I have ever known.  I have had someone to nurture and hold tight since I was a wild-eyed recklessly abandoned 17 year old babe myself; who had searched for love in all the wrong places yet found it in the eyes of my sons.  And now what?  Even now I push past the rush of hot streams of tears that soak a read swollen face flowing for all of the memories that will never be.  This didn’t turn out the way I hoped, the way that it should have.  So now what?

The day my youngest son left was a bitter sweet dark day.  Bitter and dark because he was gone, but sweet because of the wave of grace that engulfed me.  My poor husband was at a loss as to how to console me.  He suggested I get a puppy.  The thought was ridiculous to me.  I have always been a cat person.  I never knew what people found so great about dogs.  But I was too weak to be so opinionated and went with it.  I love how God is even involved in the little things of life because as soon as I picked up that little black wienie dog, I heard God say “this is the one who will help you heal.”  I instantly knew what I would name him…Raffee.  It comes from Jehovah Raphe which means “our God who heals”.  So every time that I would call his name, I would remind myself of the healing power of God.  Funny thing is, sometimes we call him Raffa.  As I was studying today’s verse, God brought something to my attention and I couldn’t help but chuckle.  The Hebrew word for still is rapha.  Do you know what I have done every day since my son left?  I have sat still, rapha, at the feet of my King, my Healer, Raphe, (of course with Raffee in my lap and coffee in my hand).  Even now God continues to heal me as I sit still in His Presence and my sweet little furry companion, who never leaves my side, is just a reminder of that.  A reminder of God’s goodness.  A reminder of grace.

That Hebrew word rapha, still, literally means to sink down, abandon, relax, and forsake.  Think about that for a moment.  God is literally commanding us to sink down, and relax in knowing Him.  That doesn’t sound all that bad does it?  To abandon the world for just a moment and let Him touch the deep broken places in our souls.  To be still.  Those broken places have the power to reveal God in a soft, tender and gentle way like nothing else, if you let them.  So whether you’re broken or not being still is beautiful and it’s a prerequisite to hearing Him.  He’s not going to yell while you’re running wide open to communicate with you.  He’ll simply wait until you’re still.  Being still is easy for me now, just as hearing Him is…hmm maybe those two are connected.  Yes, without a doubt they are.  So stop the busyness, take deep breath and breathe Him in.  Empty your mind, still your soul and be filled with His Spirit.  It will be the most rewarding thing you do all day…everyday.

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YOUR KOFFEE WITH THE KING: 

Spend the next 20 to 30 minutes sitting COMPLETELY still before God.  Today will be a little bit different than other days.  Today’s focus will be to empty out your minds, and set your focus on Him.  Sit still, really still.  You’ll have to refuse any distractions, that’s sometimes difficult.  There may not be a lot of talking today. That’s okay.  God may choose to speak to you a little differently.  It maybe with a vision, an idea,  a reignited passion, the possibilities are limitless.  Let’s let Him choose today as you sit still before Him.  Are you ready?

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FURTHER STUDY:  

Over the next week, study the following passages to learn more on being still and knowing God.  Continue to have your daily Koffee with the King  and enjoy those deep conversations. Continue to ask Him questions to get to know Him better.

Day 2:   Read and meditate on Job 37:14

Day 3:  Read and mediate on Psalms 4:3-5

Day 4:  Read and mediate on Exodus 29:46

Day 5:  Read and mediate on Jeremiah 24:7

5 thoughts on “EMPTIED AND STILL

  1. Love your posts Melonie! Funny. I am not a cat person, but had a cat I named Jireh. One day I prayed outloud for my son Garrett, who was one year old. Knowing how much he loved “kitty cats” in the stories I read to him, a moment of temporary insanity overcame me and I blurted out a prayer on his behalf since he couldn’t talk yet. “Lord, please get Garrett a cat.” Later that day, I took snacks to my daughter’s second grade class. As soon as the teacher let me in, Brittany came running up to me, “Mommy, Mommy, Mrs. Bass brought kittens to school today. They’re free! Can we have one?” What was I to do? We had Jireh for 14 years. I still haven’t figured out why God answered Garrett’s prayer instantly, and most of mine take….well, looooooonger.

  2. breahnroyal

    I’m just in shock that I found someone with my same story…. I mean, I don’t know your story exactly, but I do know that my daughter CHOSE to live with her Daddy, instead of me. =((( Devastating. I don’t know how to recover. The devil wants me to believe that there is NO one else on the face of the earth in my situation. He likes secrets. He wants me isolated. There’s victory for him there… I haven’t found peace yet, and I’m drowning in depression, but it sure helps to see someone else surviving it. Thank you!!

    • Don’t give up! And don’t give in to the depression. Take all of that pain to God. Let Him renew the vision for your life and your daughters. God has given me a peek into my son’s future and it’s bright! And He gives me peace through this storm when I sit with Him everyday. Does it still hurt? Sure it does, but I’m not desperate nor devastated anymore because I know the plans God has for me and for him. Take this time to let God heal you and fill you with His goodness. It’s brokenness that sends us into His arms, and it’s through that brokenness He outshines the pain.

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