We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.  2 Corinthians 10:5

Deep dark desperation numbed down into despondence as we sat lifeless in the marriage counselor’s office.  We were miles apart. No, we were more like light-years apart except there was no light, only years of darkness. How did we get here? Was this not the “one” God told me to marry? This was never a place I thought we’d be.  Never a place for two professing Christians…or so was it?

We’d tried getting help before.  I’d tried everything but nothing seemed to work.  And here we were…at the absolute bottom.  Loveless.  I honestly couldn’t have cared if I lived or died at that moment.   I had swallowed the 2 ton brick of hopelessness that my body could not digest and I was dying from the inside out.  Every lie that slithered its way into my mind, I’d given permission to suck the life out of me one hopeless whisper at a time.

Bi-polar Depression,  that’s what she said was wrong.  I needed medication she said.  You know those scenes in action movies where the music drops, everything goes into slow motion, and things are suspended in mid-air? Yeah, it was like that, except during my slow mo reel  I heard God.  “You need to choose this day who you believe,” He said.  “You either believe the truth and live or believe the lies and die.  But you choose.”  Light flipped on with the snap of truth.  I was sitting in that chair in a hopeless frame of mind because of what I allowed myself to believe.  You see, a lie is as strong as the truth if you believe it. bigstock-thistle-close-up-26347376simply believe The only power the enemy has over us is what we give him.  And I had given him full reign of my mind.  At the time it was easier to roll downstream with the negative thoughts than to fight the current and trust that God could heal my marriage.  And it wasn’t just my marriage that was falling apart, it was everything. Family, finances, ministry, all had flopped.  Failure was stamped on everything that had my name associated with it, or so I believed.  Yes, I believed in God’s goodness for short spurts but the long seasons of drought brought doubt that I couldn’t overcome any longer on my own.

Most any lay person would have diagnosed me as a manic depressant.  I was high one minute then down the next.  High when I believed God’s truth, and low when I agreed with the barrage of hopeless thoughts of failure sent to torment me.  Up and down, and up and down, over and over until I lost my mind.

But the grace that came to me in that moment of despair in the counselor’s office defined the answer for me.  The answer: to choose life,  to choose truth against all odds, to believe that God was good and to trust Him at all times.  With the snap of His finger was I healed?  No, I had to choose to take every thought captive.  Every one.  I asked myself  “does this encourage me, lift me up, agree with God’s word, agree with what God has already spoken?”  If not, I pushed it out of my mind and verbally said what God’s word did say.  Was it easy?  Not at first, but it gets easier.  Especially when I spend every morning waking up with the One who gently helps realign my thoughts to His.

bigstock-Girl-On-The-Lake-40084861perfect peaceKeeping company with Him will do that you know?  You’ll be so accustomed to His voice that you’ll refuse to listen to the voice of anyone else that speaks contrary to Him.  The one who lies, kills, steals and destroys your hope and peace will be easily recognized and easily refused.  Sitting in God’s presence, listening and believing His words has healed me.  It started the day I left the counselor’s office and continues daily over coffee.  Bi-polar?  Not anymore.  I’m balanced and secure in Him and in the thoughts I have about Him and about life.



Spend the next 20 to 30 minutes enjoying waking up your mind in God’s presence.  We all battle  thoughts that are sent to devour us.  What are some thoughts you battle regularly that weigh you down?  Tell those to Him today.  Ask Him what He thinks about those thoughts.  Ask Him to replace those lies with the truth.  Make sure to write down exactly what He says and memorize it.   Play the audio track below to get you started.



Over the next week, study the following passages to learn more about having a mind stayed on Christ and truth.  Continue to have your daily Koffee with the King  and enjoy Him. These are not just random scriptures I’ve chosen.  These scriptures will help you defend off the lies of the enemy.  So read them, write them down, and quote them as needed.

Day 2:   Read and meditate on John 8:30-32

Day 3:  Read and mediate on Proverbs 23:7

Day 4:  Read and mediate on  John 14:6

Day 5:  Read and mediate on Isaiah 26:3

One thought on “LIVE OR DIE? YOU CHOOSE

  1. Christy Johnson

    Melonie, I wish everyone who struggles with depression could read this post. You are so right! We choose what we think! I’m so inspired by your writing!

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